Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
Randomize
