have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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