that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
I just had sex on a roof
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
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