so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
Randomize
