You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
Is this like a preordered booty call?
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
