And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
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