Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
Randomize
