I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
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