hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
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