If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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