Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
Randomize
