i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
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