Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
I need a beard to bite.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
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