i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
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