so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Randomize
