Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
Randomize
