you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
He's on the porch naked. Help.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
Randomize
