VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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