Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
