somebody snuck up and got me drunk
READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
I have feelings that need drinking.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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