We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
It's shark week go big or go home
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
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