she sounds like chewbacca in bed
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
