You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
Randomize
