Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
You did what with his pubic hair?
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