Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
