I'm going to jail i love you
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
