So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
