For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
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