nut hugger
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize
