he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
Randomize
