Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Randomize
