So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
My penis needs a shock collar
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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