You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Randomize
