did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
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