This girl is more easily done than said...
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
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