It's a beautiful day for a hangover
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
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