saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
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