i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
How's work?
Spinning.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize
