She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
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