just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
Randomize
