If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
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