It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
Randomize
