I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
Randomize
