did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
Randomize
