Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
