So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
Randomize
