i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
my nose is crying tears of wow.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Randomize
