Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Randomize
