So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
Randomize
