Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
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