dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
I had to cum in my sink.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
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