Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize
